Your Description Is Weak (And How to Fix It)
- 1 day ago
- 1 min read
One of the tics I see in weak prose happens when a writer will tell us something is not happening instead of keeping the focus on showing what is.
For example:
The coffee wasn't hot anymore.
vs.
The coffee had gone cold.
Or
She tried to hide her disappointment.
vs.
She forced a smile and said, " That's fine."
Or
He barely controlled his fury.
vs.
He gritted his teeth and willed his fists to uncurl.
Your quick takeaway is to make sure you give readers a concrete detail so they can experience the moment along with your characters.
