A Clear Example of Show vs. Tell

Drya was exhausted from her journey through the Shadowfen. She was also frightened because she knew the wraiths were dangerous. When she finally reached the ancient shrine, she felt relieved and hopeful that she'd find the artifact inside. The shrine was old and mysterious.

versus

Drya's boots squelched through another pool of black water, and she had to grip a moss-slick stone to keep from collapsing. Three days. Three days since she'd slept more than an hour at a stretch, always jerking awake at phantom whispers in the mist. She touched the iron pendant at her throat, a cold comfort against things that fed on warmth and breath, and quickened her pace when the fog coiled tighter between the twisted trees. Then she saw it: weathered columns rising from the murk, their carved runes still faintly glowing amber. Her hand steadied. If the old songs were true, the Sunstone waited inside, and she'd have a weapon that could actually hurt these things.

At first glance, the passage may just seem longer. Yes, I've sprinkled in a few modifiers, increasing the concrete details. But look at the difference in the verbs alone! They do the real work of showing.

Love this!