One of the most-repeated suggestions for self-editing is to read your work out loud—and for good reason: it works! Something about the process of listening to your words as you actively speak out loud identifies clunky language, awkward phrasing, and overwritten descriptions.
So, yes, read your work out loud.
But go a whole city block of steps further, and consider reading in public to an audience. Sign up for an open mic night!

Wait, don't leave! I promise I don't offer this tip lightly. I'm introverted and awkward in crowds, almost to the point of paralysis. Believe me, I get your objections and have said them all myself.
But here's the deal.
Other than at book publication events, I've never attended a public reading during which the author did not try out at least one new piece (or section) to judge how well the writing works for a real audience. If you can set ego regarding the performance outcome aside, an open mic night will spotlight how your work lands.
Just for one example, if the issue in question is one of humor, you will be able to see immediately the open and honest reaction. If they don't laugh, it isn't funny. If they laugh in the wrong places, that also isn't funny.
Go to a town where no one knows you if you must. Take your pages on travels. Use a disguise and a fake name. Public reading is not for the faint of heart. But determine to use the experience to discover editing opportunities, and you will learn.